Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Mikvah Ladies

The mikvah has a gigantic sign on the mirror showing men and women who are supposed to symbolize domestic abuse. One is encouraged to report if one is a victim.

I am glad that the community is doing outreach on the terrible phenomena of violence in the home. But let's be honest -- it really is not the sign that I want to see at that particular moment in time.

Then you see a sign that tells you all about mikvah preparation. Let's just say that the ritual leaves no stone unturned. You feel like a chicken that is about to be slaughtered and inspected by the USDA.

And then of course there is the "mikvah lady." She is very serious and very devout and you feel a little bit like you have entered a woman's penitentiary.

Then she asks "Do you want me to check?"

To which you say "No, it's okay."

Jews like to say that keeping twin beds three feet apart for most of the month adds a serious level of excitement to life.

Maybe so.

But I have been there and let me tell you.

The mikvah ritual is not exactly foreplay.

All opinions my own.