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Comment on Penelope Trunk's "Marissa Mayer becomes CEO of Yahoo, and proves women cannot have it all"

Great post by Penelope Trunk here. Lots of comments. Initially I just wrote a short response:

I don’t agree with #1 because it turns women into prostitutes and men into pimps. I followed path #2. You are a brilliant writer with great insight. Our children need mom and dad more than anything. Keep going and G-d bless!

But then I thought her idea deserved a more thoughtful one. See below:

<<My late grandfather had a saying, "words that come from the heart, go to the heart" and this is one of those posts.

I had to make this difficult choice when I was pregnant with my older daughter. Go back to work and put her in daycare, or stay home. As a feminist I was scared to lose my financial clout. But in the end I couldn't do it.

I am aware that many women don't have that choice and it upsets me because kids need their mothers. They do. We do.

To be fair, the conversation should be about mothers AND FATHERS. Fathers are terribly undervalued and their presence is so important to children as well.

Also to be fair, poor women not only have to leave their own children, but often must take low-paying caregiving jobs for other people's children. And are stereotyped as uncaring, abusers, etc.

Penelope's post makes it seem that you can plan your life. I don't think that's true. It hasn't been for me. Mostly just take it a day at a time, and follow my gut about which way to go. I like to think that G-d is guiding my thinking somewhat.

It's also really, really sexist and unfortunate for a feminist to say that tired phrase, "marry rich." What a horrible message. I would never want my kids to use or be used that way.

I hope that this post opens an enduring conversation about what we as a country are doing to our children with our workaholic ethos. We need to get back to a time when work, as important as it was, was only a part of our lives. Put the family back where it belongs, in the center. Put our interests, hobbies, and passions, back as another fulfilling part.

Well-rounded people with loving relationships and a network of people they care about. A good society.

Since so many people are unemployed maybe we should start to take seriously a shift toward the part-time society - downshift the 40 hour workweek to a 20-30 hour workweek. Make structural changes that increase the quality of everyone's lives. There is a sociologist who promotes this idea, I just can't recall his name right now.>>