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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Why You're Not All That Engaging


Because you're so clueless, you use words like "engaging" just because they're the latest buzzword.
Because you look away from me when I'm talking to you, like that "how fast can I get out of here" kind of look.
You check your goddamn PHONE! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EMAILS!
Because you don't listen to a single word I say. Not one. You're too busy waiting for a turn to talk.
Because you're so full of yourself. YOUR ideas, your methodologies. G-d, I can tell you are so FULL OF CRAP!
Because you insist that you are right and I am wrong. When I know you're wrong! And you know it, too.
Because you haven't got a single clue about what tasks are "on task" versus which are "off." You call yourself an innovator, but you think like an Army drill sergeant. 
Because you never really read anything. I can tell. You have nothing to say. That's boring.
Because your staff meetings are filled - just FILLED - with dead air. Plus fear. The lousy, stinking stench of the death of great thoughts.
Because you always talk at people, even in the copy we write for online. Who wants to read your piles and piles of drivel? 
BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER MET A BULLET POINT WITHOUT MURDERING IT.
Because you insist on approving all my Tweets. 
Because you're just so, so shallow and egotistical and self-promoting and...you know what? You're just plain BAD.
You're not engaging because you don't like people. Someone hit you over the head when you were a kid, or they dropped you on your head or you somehow fell down a flight of stairs, and now it's the fault of the rest of the world.
So no matter how shiny your bright smile is, I can see your evil filthy soul beneath.
Truly engaging people are humble and inherently good.
You, unfortunately are not one of them.
Dr. Dannielle Blumenthal is a seasoned communications professional with nearly two decades of progressive, varied experience in the public sector, private sector, and academia. Currently she is a public servant, as well as an independent freelance writer. This blog, like all of her public content, is written in her personal capacity unless otherwise noted. It does not reflect the views of the U.S. government, in whole or in part. Photo by Adam Jones / Wikipedia